Naturally, the Seven Deadly Sins Homepage is perpetually deluged with fan mail, a large percentage of which warns that I and my progeny for seven generations will be eaten alive by flaming worms in the searing furnaces of Hell. So I actually wet my pants with glee when my colleague, "Madame W", sent me the following letter:
As you know, I am one of only a handful of your co-workers who knows about your Seven Deadly Sins web site. Over the last couple of months I have taken to coming into the office on Monday morning, switching on my computer, getting some coffee, checking my email and then going to 7DS to find out about your previous week. Most times I read it and enjoy the personal details the likes of which we don't often exchange in our shared day to day work life. While I have a general sense of the texture of your life and believe we are like minded in many ways, including our shared appreciation of language, irony, and esthetics, it has been interesting to learn of your brushes with Pride and your runaway train of Anger, both of which I had a hunch were lurking inside but about which we've never spoken.
I was away for a time and returned to the office last Monday. I was looking forward to reading your week's exposé and found it interesting, if a bit wordy. Just as I was clicking on the little X I thought that perhaps I should check out your Sin-O-Meter in case there was anything exciting going on. I've been watching your Lust and Anger indices carefully because I think they are the most interesting of the seven deadly sins and I'm curious about your application of them.
I was astonished to see that your Lust index went through the roof while I was out of town. You were so very lustful that it could not be contained within the confines of a scale ranging all the way from zero to ten. That you were lusting so much was not shocking. What I found most notable was that there was absolutely no hint of anything the least bit lusty in your weekly discourse. Over the months since you began documenting your sins nary a one of them has soared off the scale as Lust recently did. Granted, Anger hovered at the outer edge for a time but it was thoroughly aired in that week's discourse...anger! anger! anger! It was all we could read about that week and you've woven it into each week's fabric since then. Indeed, you won't STOP writing about it.
And so now good old Lust, everyone's favorite sin, has gone off the chart and you offer me no explanation whatsoever. Why is this? Is it so much more intimate and revealing than anger? Does it render its possessor somehow more vulnerable? I've spent some time considering this because, as it turns out, I've become fairly possessed by both of these fine sins from time to time over the past few months. I find myself talking much more freely about anger (ranting to my friends about the object of this little sin of mine, using the word ‘fuck' or ‘fucker' in most sentences) but have not made mention of my secret lustful thoughts even to the party/ies perhaps most rightly deserving to know. It is my big secret. Heh heh.
In the end, the thought of someone finding out that I was angry with them is not very troubling to me. Being fingered as the object of someone's anger elicits a pretty predictable range of responses and, being a grown-up, I've learned that anger with a friend or loved one is usually best worked out by just plain old talking about it. (Anger at acquaintances is trickier because it involves a more subtle cost-benefit analysis and anger with total strangers is absolutely and utterly acceptable, particularly when I'm in large crowds or driving). On the other hand, there is little to be gained by talking about Lust and it would be much more troubling if that secret someone learned how (very extremely) lustful I am prior to my wanting to disclose this information -- perhaps because of the wild and unpredictable array of responses it could evoke.
Lust implies either that its object is inappropriate or unattainable or its fulfillment is just darned nasty to the point of distraction. Unadulterated lust of the unconsummated order is intrinsically secret, exceedingly tortuous, insanely distracting and at times deliriously pleasurable. I am certain that there is one very long German word that captures this. While revealing lustful feelings has brought me some great moments, it is better kept under wraps. Clearly, in this case it is something that is best acted upon rather than discussed. Why discuss the recipe when you can bake the cake? On the other hand, fulfilled lust from both parties knows no bounds and can be, well, highly secret, exceedingly tortuous, insanely distracting and deliriously pleasurable. Just in a different way.
This is all to say that I've had enough of hearing about how angry you are. Anger schmanger. You've deconstructed it thoroughly and it's time to move on. I'm not asking you to name names. The people have spoken and they want to read about Lust. Your Lust.
"Madame W"
Coming soon: my response to this unfair and unprovoked attack on my private life!