Dour Abby

We at the Seven Deadly Sins Homepage take pride in keeping you up-to-date on the latest trends in Sin and redemption. For example, the clerks in the E-mailroom at the Homepage have been commenting on the recent surge of letters from readers asking for my advice on Sin. Typically, the author confesses to some sort of shameful (or relatively mundane) behavior, then appeals for my opinion of whether it's really sinful. I find this trend very flattering. I think it represents a real milestone in the Seven Deadly Sins Homepage's development, to have achieved the patina of repute and expertise that makes us an authority on other people's spiritual development.

But there are, in the terms of our time, issues. Who are these people who offer me delicious little voyeuristic glimpses of their secret, sinful sides? My Pride warns me their letters must be sophomoric jokes, attempts to solicit advice that is not really needed, just to see what I'll say. But what if these people are utterly serious, and so devoid of other options that they find themselves writing a total stranger of dubious spiritual purity, risking ridicule to ask for some advice?

I would make a very self-satisfied priest, getting these intimate peeks into the personal struggles of strangers. It's the perfect voyeur's trade: look but don't touch. How does the clergy stand it? Eventually, they capitulate and start spewing out answers. They can't resist messing with the ornate machinery of other people's salvation. And faced with these reverent questions, I don't know how much longer I can resist the burden of beatification.


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